Thursday, January 2, 2020


Dear Boardie,
Q. Why does the catwalk railing look shiny and new while mine looks dull and old?
SIMPLE ANSWER: Our cleaning staff cleans and shines the railing weekly whereas you rarely or possibly never have cleaned yours.
Q. Okay I admit it. It’s been years. Is there any hope for my balcony railing?
A. Yes!
LONG ANSWER:  All you have to do is A) clean your railing with soap and water. B) Rub lightly with soft steel wool. C) Shine with a soft cloth saturated with ZEP or WEIMAN Stainless Steel Polish. Yes, it smells uggy like WD40, but that smell will dissipate.
Q. What if I hate the smell of Eau de WD40?
A. Wear rubber gloves, a clothes pin on your nose and direct the spray into your soft cloth.
Q. What if I don’t have time to go to the hardware store to buy this?
Q. Why spend money if I only need a few spritzes?
A. Building Manager Joseph will lend you a can for ONE DAY or less.

Dear Boardie,
Once my railing is clean, my balcony floor will look dirtier than ever!
Q. What’s the easiest way to clean my #$^&*# textured balcony floor?
A. Wait for a rainstorm and while every balcony is wet, sweep with a stiff broom.
Q. What about when it’s dry?
LONG ANSWER: It’s important NOT to drip down on your neighbor, so do NOT throw a bucket of soapy water across your balcony (no matter how tempting). You’ve got to clean just like Cinderella: Get a bucket of soapy water and a scrub brush. Get down on your hands and knees and scrub a few feet at a time. (Wear headphones playing Lizzo if that makes you happy.) Sop up the water using the entire Society section of the San Diego Union Tribune. Then scrub a few feet more. Sop up the water using the entire Sports section. Repeat. Building Manager Joseph will lend you kneepads for one day if you ask him nicely.

Dear Boardie,
Q. Why are plants prohibited on balconies?
A. Plants are permitted AS LONG AS they have a plastic, non-porous
plate underneath.
Q. Why?
A. Despite the protective coating painted on top of your balcony, the concrete is porous. If water gets into the concrete – either from a plant, a wet rug or from a hole where the fencing meets the concrete, it can travel down to the rebar that holds up the structure. Once the rebar gets rusty, it eats the surrounding concrete, compromising the strength of your balcony. We want your balcony protected. If you spot a possible water intrusion, notify Joseph immediately.