BALCONY BEAUTIFICATION
Dear Boardie,
Q. Why does the
catwalk railing look shiny and new while mine looks dull and old?
SIMPLE ANSWER: Our
cleaning staff cleans and shines the railing weekly whereas you rarely or possibly never have cleaned yours.
Q. Okay I admit
it. It’s been years. Is there any hope for my balcony railing?
A. Yes!
LONG ANSWER: All you have to do is A) clean your railing
with soap and water. B) Rub lightly with soft steel wool. C) Shine with a soft
cloth saturated with ZEP or WEIMAN Stainless Steel Polish. Yes, it smells uggy
like WD40, but that smell will
dissipate.
Q. What if I hate
the smell of Eau de WD40?
A. Wear rubber
gloves, a clothes pin on your nose and direct the spray into your soft cloth.
Q. What if I don’t
have time to go to the hardware store to buy this?
Q. Why spend money
if I only need a few spritzes?
A. Building
Manager Joseph will lend you a can for ONE DAY or less.
Dear Boardie,
Once my railing is
clean, my balcony floor will look dirtier than ever!
Q. What’s the easiest
way to clean my #$^&*# textured balcony floor?
A. Wait for a
rainstorm and while every balcony is wet, sweep with a stiff broom.
Q. What about when
it’s dry?
LONG ANSWER: It’s
important NOT to drip down on your neighbor, so do NOT throw a bucket of soapy
water across your balcony (no matter how tempting). You’ve got to clean just
like Cinderella: Get a bucket of soapy water and a scrub brush. Get down on
your hands and knees and scrub a few feet at a time.
(Wear headphones playing Lizzo if that makes you happy.) Sop up the water using the entire Society section
of the San Diego Union Tribune. Then scrub a
few feet more. Sop up the water using the entire Sports section. Repeat. Building
Manager Joseph will lend you kneepads for one day if you ask him nicely.
Dear Boardie,
Q. Why are plants
prohibited on balconies?
A. Plants are
permitted AS LONG AS they have a plastic, non-porous
plate underneath.
Q. Why?
A. Despite the
protective coating painted on top of your balcony, the concrete is porous. If water
gets into the concrete – either from a plant, a wet rug or from a hole where
the fencing meets the concrete, it can travel down to the rebar that holds up the structure. Once the
rebar gets rusty, it eats the surrounding concrete, compromising the strength
of your balcony. We want your balcony protected. If you spot a possible water
intrusion, notify Joseph immediately.
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