OR: Nutty HOA Prez Walks a Mile in John McLean’s Shoes OR Going from Zero to 60 after age 60.
Fact # 1 John was out with a bad foot
Fact # 2 Marvin was on vacation
Fact # 3 Every time I have looked into our Maintenance Office, I have cringed. Why? I can’t stand the sight of cardboard boxes in an office. I also can’t stand an office that can’t go in Architectural Digest, so I admit my standards are probably too high. I’m a certified neat freak.
Monday, with John and Marvin conveniently out of the way, I seized the opportunity to organize the office. And the first thing I was gonna do was GET RID OF THE goddamn CARDBOARD BOXES!
That’s When the Fun Began. I enlisted our new employee Andy Noel for my partner in crime. Our Mission, which we accepted, was to find space in already overstuffed cupboards, to store the stupid boxes. It only took three days but we are proud of tackling this daunting task. Office looks neater. We pray John will forgive us our trespassing.
But here’s what I learned while cleaning: John’s office is a beehive of epic proportion! And John is the incredible ringmaster of this buzzing circus! If you don’t believe me, here’s a list of one day
- Movers asked to have elevator padded and shut down
- A very guilty resident broke a hallway light while demo-ing his tennis swing – glass everywhere
- GYPSY the dog needed a hug
- Elevator company comes for monthly inspection, wants to shut down the OTHER elevator
- A friend of the Board collects the meeting minutes to distribute
- BENDER the dog needs a head scratch
- Somebody’s mailbox won’t lock
- A vendor needs to be walked around to make proposal on a repair
- TAZZIE the dog needed loving reassurance
- Someone’s cleaning lady needed a key that was left for her
- The office printer ran out of ink - no spares on hand
- BUBBA the dog needed help making snorting noises
- Somebody jammed the entire trash chute with bubble wrap
- Signs needed to be printed and posted for Board Announcement
- LANA the dog needed a smooch right on the kisser
- Fed Ex man reported a dead bird on somebody’s doorway
- A listing Realtor called with 50 short questions
- A contractor tried to get an 8 foot mirror in a 9 foot elevator
- BISQUIT the dog needed an emergency back scratching
- Somebody stole somebody else’s parking spot – but who?
- Somebody wanted to borrow the hand truck
- RUSTY the dog needed his ears rubbed
- Somebody got locked out, sans cell phone – needed a locksmith
- Somebody ELSE got locked out. What are the odds?
- LUCY the dog alone in lobby, leash caught in the elevator doors (owner going UP) – and needed to be unleashed, Pronto!
- Somebody going out of town wanted to give office her key
- A balcony needed to be cleared for the spalling scaffolding
- Contractors left a trail of dry wall dust footprints
- Truck blocking dumpster room, garbage men threaten to leave w/o garbage
- Complete strangers introduced themselves, said nice things about the Board. I didn’t disagree.
There was so much more, but you get the idea. It was fun, but I’m tired just talking about it!